The Truth Be Told

Numbers 12:6

"And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I the Lord will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream."

This verse is very strong to those who are righteous and are seeking answers from their Heavenly Father. But the question is, what defines what a prophet is? If I spread my beliefs around to those whom are lost, does that not make me a prophet? What would I personally have to do, to gain the title of being a prophet? By now if the rule was to just spread the word of my beliefs, I would literally be a prophet! I know that I am not a prophet because I have had no "visions" that the Lord has spoken of.

To know which church is the right church is a hard subject to decide on. There are so many religions in the world that it is almost impossible to decide on which one is the true church. Many people say to pray about it and ask for the answer. I personally have tested this "prayer" and I still don't know which church is true. For me, I believe that all churches are worthy of being the true church because there is only one ticket to heaven and many places to get that ticket.

It wouldn't be fair if a person was born on the earth and never had the chance to become introduced to the true religion. The question that arises from this fact is that, do they get a second chance to redeem themselves once they die? Because they never had the chance to experience the truth, wouldn't it only be logical for them to be able to have a second chance? I can't see the great all mighty Lord sending one of his sons or daughters to Earth, just to have them banished for life. Every one has, or should have, an equal chance of Salvation no matter what religion they practice!

Jeremiah 22:19

"He shall be buried with the burial of an ass, drawn and cast forth beyond the gates of Jerusalem."

This verse speaks wicked to me. If there is a man who has died and is sentenced to be buried like a useless animal and cast from the pure land of Jerusalem itself, it clearly means that he has a history of wicked and evil that fills his pages. To not be seen worthy in the eyes of the Lord is an obstacle that sends chills down every human who thinks of the second coming and judgement day. To know that you could be the person who is cast off beyond the gates of Jerusalem is the scariest knowledge of all. I suppose if you are worthy of committing the sins, you are worthy of living with the consequences that follow with them.

Sometimes it can make a person wonder what is considered a sin. What is the difference between a huge sin, a little sin and everything in between? Who has been given the right to punish those who have done wrong? If someone has done wrong, do they have the chance to redeem themselves before they are sentenced to everlasting hell?

The answer is no one. No one on this earth has the right to judge any other person. The only person who can judge you is yourself and your heavenly father when judgment day comes to pass. If an obstacle or temptation comes into your life and you fall into the depths of that temptation, your mind automatically knows right from wrong and you will know that you have done wrong.... After all, you carry the spirit of the lord because he sent you here on purpose. I believe that there is a chance for redemption. It's called repentance!!!!

Voice Be Heard

Psalms 3:6

"I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about."

I have come to find that in the small amount of time that I have been living, people fear the unknown and there is no possible way to convince them other wise. I personally am scared to death of the unknown. I may sound completely selfish when I say this but, I don't want there to be a world or life after this. I feel like one life is enough for me. I just want to have lived my earthly life and call it good. Isn't one life to live enough! I don't want to live on and on and on and never die out. If I do not live a righteous life then I will have to live on in the depths of hell itself. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE DONE!

This scripture verse is in its own way a slap in the face reminder that there is a life after this. There is something so much more and better than this life here on earth, but you have to follow his plan and continue to be righteous until the very end. In a world so full of temptation and sin, it is hard not to find yourself being full and caught up in sin yourself. With all these struggles, how is it humanly possible to live a righteous life?

You must follow your own heart and beliefs and not care or "fear" those who stand around and judge you for those having those beliefs. That is the path to redemption and only you can make that difference in your life.

Biology Class and My Thoughts

Today we learned about what evolution is and what it isn't in Biology class. At the very beginning of class I thought I knew what Evolution was all about. I thought it dealt with the Big Bang Theory and how the world came to be. I thought it was about how a simple bacteria was the first life form and how it grew into something bigger and better.... Different species. I had many arguments on how and why it could or couldn't coincide with religion. I personally don't fully believe in evolution, but there are certain aspects that I do believe in about it. All my arguments seemed to hit the surface of evolution until the actual definition was said.

Evolution is a process in which something passes by degrees to a different stage (especially to a more advanced or mature stage). This definition has nothing at all to do with The Big Bang Theory or how the world came to be. It doesn't even scratch the surface of those subjects! It only talks about the "worm" that, with a given time, can become a "snake". With this new knowledge, my arguments were shot down the drain and I had nothing to say on the subject. So, here are my thoughts on whether or not to believe the Big Bang Theory.

Yes, it is clear to see that it is just a theory, but it is there to be believed in or not to be believed in. I personally believe in the theory and it coincides perfectly with my religious beliefs! How? Well, in the bible it talks about the seven days that God worked to create the world. Although it does not go in to depth on how he created the world, I believe that the Big Bang Theory makes perfect sense. Every day for a human being is a millennium for God. Given seven "days" to create the world gave him seven millenniums to create the world. The Big Bang could have clearly been part of the huge plan to even create the world for him to build off of. He had enough time to plan everything out for the Theory to occur and enough time to actually make it occur!

It leads on to the creation of the dinosaurs whose dead bodies have created a portion of the oil that we abundantly use today. Dinosaurs weren't just put on the earth for no reason at all! It has God written all over it! That is why I have no problem with the Big Bang Theory and certain aspects of evolution itself.

This Research Project

I just wanted to quickly state how ridiculous it is that I can write so much over one simple verse in the bible, but when it comes to writing a five page report for my English class over pages and pages of information I can't even think or come up with a sentence to piece together my thoughts over that section. Does everyone have this problem?

I suppose writing a good research paper is not in my cards. There are two different ways that I write. The first kind of writing is a journal of my life. I write all my emotions out on the paper. It creates a way for me to release all of my negative and positive emotions that are on my mind without completely letting go. When I look back on my writing's I am able to learn from mistakes and understand why I am in the position that I am at. The second kind of writing is forced writing. I am motivated to write a rambling paper on a topic of my choice because I need to keep my grades up. I am definitely not a writer and I don't believe that I will ever want to be! Just like that cards in my life; they have been dealt.

Speaking of cards in my life, I am waiting for the chance to get a patriarchal blessing. From what I can understand, it is pretty much a process of fortune telling and who you are meant to be. A patriarchal blessing is known within the LDS church. It is supposed to be a good experience and you are able to understand and work on your listed strength's and weaknesses. I am ready for this information to be past down to me

Another event that I am ready for is the LDS temple. I have sadly been brain washed into a world of going to the temple to get married, perform baptism for the dead, engaging in everlasting family, etc. All of these events I am no longer part of, but some of them scream at me loud and clear telling me to come back to church and accept everything about it. Trust me, I have done my "research" on the church and I personally don't want to go back. I need a Church that I can elaborate on as if I were talking about myself and my journal!

The Man Who Is Saving The World a Door At a Time

This blog entry is not going to contain a random scripture verse but rather a random story that I would like to share. Today, which is Saturday, there was a knock on my front door. I answered it and found myself to be soon entangled up in a 15 minute talk with a polite and wise man. He came to teach the word of God because my mom, being the nice person she is, told him to come back and bring the spirit with him whenever he wanted to or could.

I was interested in what he had to say so I didn't let him leave like he was insisting on doing. He had drove to our house just to give a little information about the word and to turn him away just because the TV seemed to be more important would have been completely unreal!

His first question for me was, "What do you think people would do when Christ came to the Earth again?" I stalled for a second and confidently said, "They would be terrified." He laughed and said "No, they would be happy. The word says that he is going to return with his own government one of these days and there are many people who have been waiting for his return. To finally have him here would be the greatest blessing of all."

I stated that people would be terrified because there is so much evil and hate in the world that good nearly ceases to exist. To actually face the maker and know that you have done wrong is..... scary. It makes you want to rethink every single action you have done and all the sins that you have not yet repented of and change it all for the better. I personally would look like a disobedient child to the maker. It's embarrassing to stand before him in filth and try to feel good about yourself at the same.

The man continued on with how God's government would effect the world. One statement that gave me a little laugh was when he said, "With God's government there will be no pollution. He knows how to use the resources of the land that he created and man only knows how to destroy it! Also, with his government, we will have the best health care! He can heal the sick and create miracles!"

It was amazing to me to see this man go out of his way to try and spread the word on a Saturday evening. I idol missionaries because they give up so much time trying to be God's messenger's and angel's to people who don't even want to give them the time of day. Personally, if education and success wasn't such a big deal to obtain during one's life time, I would be a missionary who helps teach the word. I gives kudos to this older man! He is doing the best job of them all!

Science or the Book

Romans 1:20

"For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse."

I believe that everyone has heard the term Atheist; someone who does not believe that there is a God. There are many reasons to believe that there is no God and it is very easy to stray away from the many teachings that come from the book and church itself. One of these reasons may be the "scientific" theories of the Big Bang and Evolution. Somewhere in the Bible it plainly says not to mix up and compare the findings of science with the actual word. I can understand why someone who has learned of Evolution and the creation of the world through a scientific perspective would believe that there is no God. In science there is no Godhead who creates everything living and non-living that surrounds us. The title of God, in this case, would be completely unnecessary and foolish.

The verse that I randomly chose clearly states that human kind has no excuses what-so-ever to not believe in God. It states that there must be an understanding of how the earth was made. Whether this understanding be through science or the book of Genesis, it is understood and believed by someone through faith. You must have faith to believe in something or someone who is not there. To have faith in science and the book is different than having the knowledge of both. Having the knowledge can help you decide what path you are going to take and what "theories" you are going to believe in.

To each his own.

It's a Gift

Isaiah 6:10

"Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes; lest they see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and convert, and be healed."

Many people may hear the word of God, but they do not come any where close to feeling the power behind his words. If people's hearts are hardened and they are no longer able to hear, speak, see, or feel the power of the word, then they will go searching for it. This would be a useful technique to get followers of God back on track. Since they went without the word for so long, the next time that they hear it, they will feel the power and and become "healed" of their wickedness.

I went to a church in Kim before while I was on my habit of church hopping every Sunday with friends of mine. The preacher, or Danny in this case, read from the bible in a section that I cannot recall at this moment but, he spoke of how the good book was brought back on to the earth and how many people gathered together just to hear it be read aloud. Thousands of people came and stood for three days just to hear what was in the book. Not one person complained and they were happy. The stood with humble hearts and they took in every word allowing it to strengthen their soul.

Today, church services can last from 2-4 hours on the Sabbath day. The entire time, there is one person who does not want to be there. There are families who stay for the first hour to hear the service and partake of sacrament and then they leave and call it a good Sabbath. I am guilty of those last few sentences.... Where has worship, love, understanding, service, and faith gone? The world would be hectic if the Bible was taken from the earth again, and here we are taking every single second of it for advantage. We have the instructions for life at the palm of our hands and yet, we never read them... When I heard of the people who waited and stood days on end just to hear the word I realized that the world today needs that same exact sense of direction. To be able to restore the gospel in the minds and hearts of everyone, including myself, would be a miracle in itself.

Less is More...

I opened the book, closed my eyes, and pointed to the most amazing verse I believe I have ever read!

Hebrews 13:2

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

No, they are not actual angels that have been sent down to sit in your classroom or work place. They are the regular normal person who is striving to succeed the test of life just like you. The only thing different about them is that they could be one of The Chosen Ones who get to live eternally in God's kingdom as a God themselves. This scripture is plainly trying to state the fact that the act of kindness towards those who you do not know is spreading God's love even to those who knew nothing of him. Your one simple act of kindness can turn another person's life directly around. That is one of the goals in this life... To let brotherly love continue on and on.

About three years ago I stopped going to the church that I was raised up in. Don't get me wrong, the religion was GREAT but, it just wasn't for me. I felt like there was something more out there just waiting for me to reveal. The first few months without going to church I felt really lost. At that time I had a really good friend of mine who was very excited to introduce and teach me the basics of his religion. I went to his church and I found it very interesting to see how different the two religions were and yet they were still very similar.

After attending his church, I still felt lost but, he was not about to give up on me. The next day I got five pages, written on the front and back, from him that were filled with scriptures and interpretations of those scriptures. I couldn't believe that he would take the time to write TEN pages of scriptures for me! I was thankful for what he did for me and his act of kindness took me to places that I never would have dreamed of! He was, at that time in my life, an angle!

This is Completely Worn Out So New?

My thoughts on college and actions towards college have been completely cut into every single little piece possible and there is no way I can continue writing about it! With that much being said, I am leaving that dreadful topic behind me and starting with something new to write about that won't ever run out of something for me to comment on. That topic will be scripture study and interpretation of a single verse out of the bible. I chose this topic because it will help me catch up with the three years of procrastination I have used when it comes to reading the scriptures!

Please understand that my interpretations and understandings may be completely off the wall and nothing that anyone has ever came up with. I am a free spirit and I am not tied down to a single religion or church so, I am very open minded and sometimes stubborn. I absolutely love church hopping and learning about all the different religion's that are out there. All I ask is that who ever is reading this, don't take my opinions or comments personally. I am not a professional when it comes to interpreting the good word. After all, I'm only human... Not perfect!

So I'm going to randomly open the book, close my eyes, and point to a random verse and that is where my blog begins...

1 Timothy 1:11

"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection."

The woman's role within the church and family life is very different from the man's role. The man has the power and the woman works under his authority. It is a man's duty to pray and teach the word and it is the woman's duty to listen, absorb, learn, and ask no question's along they way. She must not take on the role of a men but, rather sit in silence.

This simple verse obviously says a lot. I know modern day women try to argue the fact that men hold the most power and that they are the dominant authority figure. Women believe that they can be just as good and sometimes even better than men........ My argument is one simple verse..... Hebrews 13:8. "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever." Need I say more?

An Untold False Alarm

I just got in the shower when my brother came knocking on the door saying that someone was on the phone for me. I asked who it was and he said some college. My mind immediately skipped to Bel Rea because I sent them some information about me because I thought it was exactly what I was looking for. Well, not any more! I told him that I couldn't take the phone because I was in the shower and that he needed to take a message. Hopefully, him being the smart person he is, he would take a good message.

I got out of the shower to find that he didn't remember anything that was said over the phone... What?! How could he forget? It had only been about five minutes since he got off the phone! So, here I am as of now, wondering which college tried to contact me and for what reason. I will never know unless I get another call. Was the shower really worth it? No, it wasn't! I am hoping that the opportunity will eventually happen again and the next time I won't be in the shower!

Spring Break is almost here! I get to go to Texas and check out a few campuses so, we will see if my choice of college is actually where I feel comfortable and want to be! Everything is moving very SLOWLY for me right now so, I don't have much to elaborate on. We'll see how the visit goes!

The Time Is...... Not Now

This morning I went to school in a good mood trying to be positive through any obstacles thrown my way. I sat down in my US History chair and gladly began my warm-up, waiting to get up and stand for the pledge of allegiance. The boy on the intercom messed up the pledge so, I had a good laugh and my positive attitude was still in tact. The teacher opened up the "Stock Market" and I sold $470 worth of shares happily taking my money with me back to my seat. I was on a roll! The Smart Board turned into a PowerPoint covering The Great Depression, and I sat there listening to what the teacher had to say. One simple sentence struck me and stuck on me for the rest of the day. I instantly thought to myself, " I can write about this in my blog...". The teacher said, "One reason the Great Depression came to pass was because of a recession. It's kind of like the one we are in right now so, those of you who are trying to get into college... bad time to try."

Have you ever listened to someone talking to you and they happen to say a single word or sentence that completely stumps you and you can no longer make sense of what they are saying to you? It's as if, they all the sudden started speaking tongues and their words are coming out in slow motion with a deep pitch. In all reality, you are just in a deep thought and nothing else matters except your thoughts. Well, that was me when I heard her say it was a bad time to try to get into college. I was completely stumped and not able to protest about anything because I knew it was the cold hard truth. The recession is part of my life so, I don't know why I have been trying to act like it won't affect me in any way, shape, or form.

So, basically, all I got out of today was a HUGE slap in the face with the world shouting, "WELCOME TO REALITY BABY!" I believe I am awake for the recession now! Watch, tomorrow the Stock Market is going to crash and I am going to owe a ton of money! It will be just my luck! To have the positiveness sucked right out of me!

I Could Be This...

The easy way out of situation's is how I would love to live life! A good challenge here and there like a huge essay is okay.... stressful, but okay. Why? Well, I learn something new and I am able to express myself through that report. That is not so bad right? The bad only shows if the teacher doesn't like the way I interpreted that report. Then I am extra stressed. Everyone has a different opinion about different events right? How is anyone graded fairly when it comes to interpreting a difficult reading? I mean the teacher themselves have a different opinion! How do they grade fairly? I don't understand how the whole system works. It is unfair but, life in general is unfair.

Now, I feel lucky to be living where I am right now because I am able to know the teacher's personally. I couldn't imagine going to a high school where the teacher can't even remember my name. They would definitely strike marks on my paper because they can't see the potential behind the words. How does that effect the students who are actually attending those schools? I can't even imagine.... Although, where there is huge schools, there is wealth. Where there is wealth, there is opportunity. Where there is opportunity, there is success.

I have the choice to either stay in La Junta for my Senior year and graduate here, or I can go to a high school that is double all of our schools put together in Texas, and finish up there. What would be a wise decision? If I stay, doesn't that give all the better chance of continuing to get good grades, get involved with the community, and get good scholarships? How would moving my Senior effect me and my future? I honestly have no idea what would happen. It's either all or nothing. Do I take that risk of failure? The unknown is so scary!

Then and Now

If there was a time period that made it easier to get into college I would zap back in time right this second! Was it easier for our parents to get into a college back in the day than for us to today? They make college sound so easy and all that they want for you is to get a good scholarship so that they don't have to pay so much! Or maybe my parents just think I am the smartest cookie on the block and I will get through anything, meaning I will get into college without a problem.

My parents are my motivation to keep my grades up and keep on researching and searching for a good college. Without them consistently nagging at me, I have no idea where I would be. Did they have to go through the same exact nagging from their parents? They are just passing down the "exciting" tradition I suppose. Looking at how successful they are shows that it got them somewhere though so, it does some good!

My mom went to college with four kids under her belt! How did she do it? I don't know, but she uses that her excuse to say that I can do anything. She says, "You're my daughter and if I could to do it, so can you." She has a point but, sometimes I feel like I am not recognized as my own individual. Maybe I can't do it sometimes! After all, she is very Sanguine and me... I'm Melancholy!

I Went and Did It.. Now I'm Over Thinking

A long time ago I decided to go and talk to the counselor of the school for information about how to get on my feet for college. I tried to set up a date and time that my parents and I could come in and talk to her personally, but she told me to look on her homepage under the school's website first. If I can't find what I am looking for there, than I can come in and talk to her. I have yet to look up her page but, I have at the very least looked at the colleges pages and what it takes to get into them. In one of my recent posts I have listed the top ten categories that a college is looking for in their students. Although those are the top ten, every college is different.

One college may want a certain score on a ACT or SAT but, if the student doesn't reach those goals, they have alternative ways for that certain student to still be able to be accepted into the college. Other colleges may want a certain score on a ACT or SAT and if the student doesn't reach them they are not accepted no matter what. Some colleges will only accept students who are the top 5% of their high school and have those ACT or SAT scores that reach their requirements. They must have both to be able to attend that college.

Talk about pressure! I understand that you have to be smart and outstanding to attend the big university's, but it takes so much just to get there! A question that has always came to the front of my mind is, are the ACT and SAT tests accurate when it comes to giving the score? What if Einstein took the test? Would he have been able to pass with an outstanding score? Maybe in the Math and Science yes, but what about the English and Reading? He was a genius who couldn't remember to take a shower or take care of himself! Honestly, would he have been able to pass the test? Who knows.

A Date With the Principal

Yeah, the title sounds bad, but it's not exactly what it seems to be. This Wednesday the Principal came into my English class to have a little thing that I would like to call an "anxiety date". It was a group of students that came together to talk about the wonderful preparation's for ACT testing that we have been working on for the past few months. This meeting made me realize a lot of things that I really wasn't prepared for or even ready to hear.

At the beginning of the year I had no idea what ACT testing was all about. All I knew, is that I was no longer taking CSAP but, rather, moving on to the next level of silly school testing. Oh boy, was I in for a rude awakening! The first pre-test came by and I answered the questions with slight focus and little care. I mean come on, it is only a pre-test! After taking the test I was able to view my scores. I had no idea what score was good and what score was bad so, I asked around... My score turned out to be average. I personally, want to be better than average! I mean who doesn't?! So, I had the chance to take the test again and strive for a better score. Yes! I got a better score that time around but, I was still unsatisfied.

My unsatisfaction only grew ten times worse when I got a little more information on how my ACT scores would affect me for the rest of my life! Any chance of getting into a good college or getting amazing scholarships depends on my ACT score... Here comes my anxiety. If I don't get a good score, I don't get everything that makes my life so much easier. The expectations that I have for myself and that my parents have for me won't be reached and the world will feel like it is going to end. I would literally die right on the spot!

How to prepare for the big test coming up? Well, I have been able to get an insight on what my weaknesses are when it comes to testing and I have been focusing only on those weaknesses. Now, mentally, I have to tell myself every time I think about testing that I can do it and that I won't fail. "The way you think you will perform is exactly how you will perform." -The Principal. So, all I have to do is walk in with confidence, take the test with confidence, and walk out with that awesome score that I am expecting! Now, that is living the life!

And These are My Plans?

There is only so much that can happen every week that I can write about! This blog has actually made me get out there and find or do something that I can write about. I have come to the conclusion, as of now, that I have been slacking on finding or doing something so that I could write. Or maybe I have done all the research that I possibly can. The next exciting event I can actually write about is if I experience being a veterinarian myself.

This Spring break I am going to Texas. If we have some free time I will be able to go and visit the Texas A & M and Rice University campus. My grandparent's are excited to take me and so are my parents. I am excited because I can really get an insight on where I am going and if that is where I want to be. I will have more references of colleges to list when I take my ACT's this following April! Yeah, Spring Break should mean just letting everything go for a week and just relaxing but, I think I will go crazy if I don't do anything!

A few actions I can take on as of now is going to talk to my school guidance counselor. I have been meaning to go up and set a timed date to talk to her, but I haven't ran into her like I have been hoping to. She can help me decide what activities I need to get involved with and what classes I should put my full attention and heart into. I like having a plan before I even need a plan made... It gives me a sense of security. At this point, security is all I need...

Getting There Means A Way

Average day people have to get from point A to point B some how right? They are able to get places by driving! That is something that I can't do... yet. I have talked many a times about how I cannot drive and how that would make my life so much easier! Just two more months! Two more months and I am on my way to taking another humiliating picture to keep on a driver's license for the rest of my life but, I don't care! I will finally be able to drive! I want to be able to take myself anywhere I want and need to at any time that I want to. I want to start working and being able to take myself to work without having to worry about getting a ride. I want to be able to take myself to school in the mornings, lunch in the afternoon, home in the evenings, and games or events at night.

Being able to drive gives me a sense of independence. It gives me a road to reaching for my goals. It takes me just a single step closer to being able to grasp my dreams. Isn't that what I have been looking for this entire time? Yes, it is exactly what I have been looking for. Once I drive I will go fill out an application to work at the Veterinary Clinic. I am excited to start! Just two months... That feels like the longest time ever but, I know that when the time actually comes I will feel that it came too fast. I feel I will have no idea how to handle my new privileges. I am ready to step ahead though so, two months COME FAST!

There's a Fork and It's In My Road

My mom says that it is hard to watch your children change and choose what they want to do with their life. They get to go where they want to go and hang around the people that they want to hang around. My older brother wants to join the Air Force and my mom is throwing a hissy fit, but she will be fine. She also throws a hissy fit when it comes to me choosing where and what I want to do with college and, in general, my life. Well... all I want to say is, "I'm freaking out myself mom!"

The thing that is bothering me as of now is the fact that 80 percent of college students change their major at the very least once before graduation. Why does it have to be so difficult? I mean I honestly feel dead to the idea of being a veterinarian and continue to die as the days roll on. Why? Well, maybe it's just because I have found out so much information on it, but I haven't really been able to act out on the information. I am just drowning in papers, ideas, hopes, questions, and stress! I want to get out there and grab my dreams with a firm grip already! I feel like it's all just slipping away cause I am not reaching for the stars.

There are many factors that play into my average day that do take up my time and energy. By the time I actually have time to put into work I am no longer motivated or in the mood to. That's just the story of my present day life. I am stuck on a sticky and messy road that I don't know how to get out of and the only quote that is running through my head is, "It only gets darker before it gets pitch black."

Ayekyerumba

What does it take to get into a college? Well, good grades and test scores and more good grades and test scores. Is that all? No, colleges are looking for something greater and more successful than just good grades. They are looking for school participation and leadership. They are looking for unique characteristics that will only prosper into triumph and victory in the end. So, what programs, clubs, hobbies, or groups look good on a college application? I personally feel like I am slacking a little in the area of community and school involvement. Yes, I am a cheerleader and I attend, partricipate, and cheer on the Tiger teams, but does that look good on an application? Maybe if I was planning on being a cheerleader the rest of my life! I do know that it shows a sense of commitment, leadership, and involvement with the school so that contributes at least something significant. Other than that, I am not involved with any of the school clubs or groups. Where did I go wrong! Next school year I will try to be greatly involved with the community and school programs. It makes me one step closer to my goals does it not? I will only join programs that I feel that I am interested in and that I can give my complete and full attetntion, time, and passion to.

Today I donated blood for the very first time. I have always wanted to donate and I am finally old enough to donate! It exctied me when I found out that the dontation of blood looks great on a college application! Whoo, GO ME! I will be able to give blood every 56 days so, I am excited to make that one of my new hobbies and priorities for the future! One life can save many and I feel great knowing that I can be that one life!

Now, I did some research on what actually does look good on an application and these are a few subjects I found:

1. AP/Honors/IB Courses


2. Volunteering


3. Jobs: summer jobs


4. GPA: a B here and there won't kill you. However, try to maintain at least a 3.8 semester GPA unweighted. Try to maintain a good rank (top 5%), too.


5. Have good relations with your teachers, 'cause you might want recommendations eventually.


6. Strive to get good honors/awards


7. Tutoring


8. Communtiy service


9. SAT/ACT scores


10. Extra curicular activities

Well, I am half way there... I just have to get a little more involved. Just so I am playing on the safe side. It wont hurt to be extra safe!

Whoa... I'm Excited!

The meeting with that lady went amazing! When I walked in I thought I was going to get a simple insight on what being a veterinary would be like, but instead I got an offer that I simply couldn't and cant turn down. There is a program at the school that allows you to practically job shadow for a class and earn credits for it! I was a little late if I wanted to start the class this semester, but that is no problem because I can't drive yet anyways. This class is actually known as a mentor ship class and it takes you to deep levels of experience to see if you are really interested in the job career that you are about to plan your whole future of college on! There are a few challenges in the class, but they are nothing that will stop me in my tracks personally! I plan on taking a whole year of this mentor ship class next year and taking as many science classes as I possibly can! The reason I want to take many science classes is because I can get some scientific basics out of the way when it comes to myself and college classes I am required to take. I love how I already have my next year of school planned out! Does it not show how badly I am ready to get out of this small town?

Overall, I was surprised that everything that I have needed to know or needed to see has been brought to my attention and I am able to continue taking HUGE steps forward! To me, these steps are no longer small, steady, or safe. They are risky and sometimes they seem to be impossible, but I am trying to view them as maintainable so that I can make it through one single more year of high school until I am out of here!

And the Dice Keeps Rolling

A new college has been brought to my attention. It's Texas A&M University! My step dad told me that it is a really good school and that there are many traditions that I would enjoy if I went there. He also said that, that school is where many of his friends went and they loved it! So, with me being me, I did a little research myself and well, pretty much fell in love with the school! The new comers are called "Aggies." Don't ask me why, but I can tell you that it is one of the many traditions that is set at the school. I found it interesting and welcoming. Another tradition is the participation in the school's football games. You have to attend pre-game meetings to learn how to cheer them on correctly when they do certain actions during the game. Now, with my cheerleading skills and comfort with cheering a team on, that should be no problem for me! Now, enough with the traditions and on with the actual University. Did I mention the fact that this school is number seven on The Best Veterinary Colleges top ten? This completely fulfills my want to be learning the best of the best skills so that I can be a best of the best veterinarian! It's crazy to think that in seven more months I will be able to start applying for colleges and aiming for some scholarships!

Right now I need to focus on keeping my grades high and preparing for ACT and SAT tests. These tests could practically rule my future! I can't slack right now and I am nervous to actually go and take the tests, but in all reality who isn't nervous? To be honest, I feel I have been slacking in every single subject of school! I was complaining to my mom on how I just wanted to drop it all and call a quits. These are some stressful times, but I can never just call a quits because I know that it is something I will always regret. So, I'll let "the dice keep rolling" and take what ever odds come my way. The show, of college, must go on!

Give Me Some Kudos!

I went in today and talked to that girl just like I said I was going to! I don't live up to the name of procrastinator! The meeting went well I think. I mean I don't believe that I came off as "creepy." I just went in and introduced myself with my chin up and a smile on my face. She was nice and very accepting, especially when I told her who reffered me to her. I instantly began to talk about my ideas of a mentorship and she gladly approved and is willing to help me out. We set a timed date to meet up with one another so that we wouldn't be rushed and so she would have a few stacks of information to give me that she obviously doesn't have prepared. I am very excited and glad that things turned out the way that they did! She is very nice and I am on my way to getting a mentorship! One step closer world!

Today I went to lunch with one of my friends and I told her the ideas that I had on the makeup business. She thought it was the coolest thing ever! See, that prooves the saying of what girl doesn't love makeup! Right now it is just a simple idea to me though. Just like college and where I will be in the next five years. It is all just one big huge idea and I am taking baby steps to get there. I do what makes me happy and I do what is best for me. If any decisions that I make don't seem to suit me I will drop them right on the spot! I know who I am! It is funny that on my first blog that I wrote, I was completely clueless to the very thought of who I am and where I will be going to college. I have really came a long way! That makes my day and well, LIFE!

Hey, I've Figured It Out

I have been procrastinating... Not a good sign, but it's written across my forehead in permanent ink for all to see, or in this case read. I still haven't went and talked to that lady. I will try to make it a priority for tomorrow. If I don't write a post tomorrow about her, than that tells you that I either didn't stick to my priorities or I just got busy and didn't get to my computer! Either way, I am still procrastinating.

I don't have any new news to talk about when the idea of college comes to topic. I can say Texas is definitely a "hot spot" for me now. If you think about it, that is where my family will be. The people who will always be there and will love me no matter what. They will never let me down or leave me in the dust because yeah, they are pretty much obligated to, but because they understand that I am not a perfect human being and that I will mess up at times. My mistakes will never change their minds about me! Texas has always been a second home to me also, so I don't see why I have been trying to run away from the idea! Now, to me, it sounds like melted chocolate over marshmallows and gram crackers or, as everyone knows, delicious smores! I love how my life can be a metaphor for so many different situations!

Today I was thinking about college and school in general and thought I would never be able to make it through the day! It's all very stressful but, the stress was taken away once I got home and spent the evening with my sister and a girl who wanted to give us make-overs. It's always refreshing to get a new look that makes you feel great and boost your self esteem every once in a while but, that's all besides the point. The point is that this girl was actually doing business and making money by "playing with makeup." How cool is that! She talked to us about how she got her business started and how anyone can start it. I was instantly interested in what she was telling us and thought to myself that it would be a fun hobby and easy money. So, as of right this moment, I am thinking about looking more into that business and going out to "play with makeup" myself! It will be interesting and good practice for me once I get out into the working world! It's another step closer to my success!

Everything's On the Slow Go

The lady that I was referred to is currently very intimidating to me and I refuse to step into her classroom! No, actually that isn't the truth... I just haven't had the time to stop by and say, "Hey I'm a complete stranger, but i know everything about you and I was wondering if you could help me with.... well, my life!" To be honest those words are exactly what play through my mind every single time I pass by her classroom. I believe that I possibly need to find a way to rephrase that so I don't come off as creepy! I feel like a lost pup who doesn't know her way home! This whole college thing is a great idea, but it is stressful! Eventually, I will talk to her. I will give it at least another week.

My research on the other hand has become just a tad bit more deep. I have been receiving information in the mail that I requested be sent from certain colleges and institutes. This information is useful because I have really been able to see what the college is all about and what campus life would be like if I were to choose that college. No, I do not have any new ideas or wants besides here in Colorado or down in Texas. That decision is bound to change at any second though so, I am not going to set my mind on one place... yet.

It scares me to think that I have been needing other people's help to help me decide on where to go for college. Why? College rings the word INDEPENDENT loud and clear and leaning on other people to get me there is me being completely dependent. I am not sure if I am just thinking too much about the whole situation, but I do know that people at this point in my life are my friends. Without people, I would most likely run away from the very thought of college and independence. My life quote is, "I don't try. I do." Just remind me to remind myself my quote the next time you see me and... Wha la! I am back to being dependent.

This Blew My Mind So, Maybe It Will For You Too

So, that mentor ship I was talking about.... I will just come right out and say it... I kinda, pretty much, technically, okay did, get stood up. Yeah, go ahead and laugh it off and ask me if I believe in karma now. My answer would be yes! I don't want to write about the situation and what happened so, I'll make up the excuse that he was on Christmas vacation and had more "interesting" things to do than educate a junior in the field of science that he is best at! If you can tell, I am upset, but read what happened next! I had A LOT of anger running through my mind and I couldn't just put a cap on it and call it good. I had to find a way to release my anger so, i wrote a text and pressed send. I would recite the text but, unfortunately it all should be censored and I don't have it on my phone any longer! I quickly gained knowledge of his side of the story and my release if anger was soon turned into many apologies... I could say now that that was embarrassing.

Now that I apparently was in a different state of mind, he referred me to a woman who could take me under her wing just as she did for him. I guess he felt bad for not being able to make our "date" for a mentor ship. So, now that he is out of the story I am on my way to go see this lady. She actually works at the high school so, the situation is perfect for me for a couple reasons. One, she can't stand me up ever because she is stuck in the high school. Two, I can go any time that I am ready to go talk! This won't interfere with my social hour after school is out! I like how much help I am getting from those around me because without them... I would have no story to tell whatsoever.

I found two good colleges in Colorado. One is right out of Denver and it is called Bel Rea. The other is in Fort Collins. The interesting facts that I like about Bel Rea is that it is a Institute. This means only two years of college without having to go to college for the basics and getting an Associates in Veterinary Technology and Medicine. The only problem with Bel Rea is that I can only be a Veterinaries Technician Assistant when it comes to the outside world and getting a career. I want to be the vet! Not the vet's assistant! Yes, maybe for a college job, but not for a job my whole life! Now, I don't know much about Fort Collins, but I have been told to go check it out by six different people so, I am guessing that it is a decent place to go! So far that has been all the research that I have done. Texas is another story... all I have to say is that my parents are all over that one! Right now I am just going to keep on keeping on and hopefully I will get a job in April as an assistant! First, I need to pass my driver's license. :/ Now that literally is a whole other story!

The Idea Continues

I have concluded to the thought of being a Veterinarian! So, what now? Well, first I want to mention that ever since I was little I have always wanted to be a vet. It seemed to me that every little girl's dream was to either be a vet, teacher, or Cinderella! I thought that my dream was just a phase that I was going through and I would get over it with time. But, I remember a time in eighth grade when the entire class was able to go and job shadow someone. The first job that came to my head was the vet, but as I asked what other's were doing they quickly said I am going to the Veterinary Clinic! My idea went out the window and I went searching for a different job to job shadow. That was a HUGE mistake on my part! If I would have stuck to my original plans I could already have had my college and career for my future planned out! Well, for the most part that is. So, here I am three years later still stuck on the idea that I tried to throw out the window my entire life because I thought it was a silly phase! I won't dwell on what has happened in the past though because I can only live in the now!

Now, back to what I am going to do next. I texted an old friend, who may also be known as the valedictorian of the class of 2009, and told him my ideas for my future. He quickly accepted my ideas and offered to give me a mentor ship! So, in a few days I will be under the wing of someone who knows what they are doing and hopefully I will get a taste of what I am getting myself into! In the meantime, I will be researching colleges that reach my expectations and offers the best of the best education for me to become well, a best of the best Veterinarian! I personally want to stay in Colorado for college, but I also have options in Texas because that is where my family is moving this upcoming summer! It all depends on me and what I choose to do though. I believe that where I choose to go is where I am meant to be! Faith... It's a wonderful gift!

First thoughts about this situation (Independence)

Every day that passes by I have to face the fact that I am one day closer to becoming independent, getting my driver's license, graduating, looking for a college, getting a job, and just plain and simple, finding out who I really am and what my purpose is. That's easy isn't it? Well, to me I feel like the world is going to end! Independence, yes that comes easy, but I only say that right now because I am still living under the comfortable wing of my parents. I can't say it is easy until I am actually living in the moment of independence. Everything else I have listed is minor except for figuring out who I am and choosing a college to suit my talents that I come to find will describe me perfectly! So, how to get there?

Small steps with few large steps in between that's how. I am the kind of person who likes the easy way out of things, but lets face it, who doesn't like the easy way out? Unfortunately, life throws the most challenging and most seemingly impossible obstacles your way just to ironically make your day... NOT! So, I have decided to suck it up and take on the impossible. My motto for life at this point is now, "I don't try, I do." That's straight forward enough is it not? The thing that I am not trying, but doing, is getting a deeper insight on who I am and what I am good at. I brain stormed for a good ten minutes and when I found myself coming up with nothing interesting I decided to turn to my mom for advise. She instantly went off on this huge image of me inventing something great, writing the best novel (as a hobby), being a doctor, or being a scientist who deals with the many chemicals in the world to cure diseases. Now... I thought I just explained how I like the easy way out of things! Her ideas made me laugh and only think of her being completely silly.

As a few minutes passed, I believe the best idea crossed my mind. It's an idea that has changed my outlook on who I am and what I should be doing. An idea that makes me want to start searching for colleges. An idea that makes me brainstorm the people who have had the same idea and can give me a mentor ship. An idea that gives me something to work hard for and strive for. An idea that not only makes me happy, but also allows me to live up to my recent motto without a problem. An idea that excites anyone who hears of it. An idea that says, "I, Stephanie Brown, am going to be a veterinarian!" First step down!

this is it

The end

ans guan

and agian